Saturday, July 26, 2008
Hi there. You from Shelby County? Good, we need to talk.
To those of you NOT from Big Shelby, you may want to skip this one, go down further where we have some lovely videos left over from Feel Good Friday, with links to lots more. Thanks.
OK, it's just us, right? First, let's see the hands of those of you who are NOT registered to vote but are eligible to do so. OK, you step over to the side, we'll come talk to you AFTER August 7, go hit the videos.
So, you're all registered, eh? Show of hands again for those of you who have already voted since Early Voting started a week ago. Wow, not many at all, but those of you who have, you're excused, go have a great weekend!
All right, rest of you, pay attention. WHAT'S YOUR FREAKING PROBLEM???? The satellites are OPEN, for crissakes, GO; well, OK, wait until 10 AM when they open, but GO VOTE.
WHAT??? What the hell do you mean you DON'T KNOW for whom you will vote??? Why do you think I went to all that trouble? Oh, and remember, NO on 360, YES on 361. (Sorry, Commissioner, you can fix this the week after the election and have it on the ballot for November, and we'll be just fine!) The statewide retention vote? Oh, hell, I always vote NO out of spite unless I know one of them.
All right then; I want you back here either WITH your used voter card or ON it, as they used to say back in Spartan times, you have no excuse outside illness or family illness, so GO VOTE.