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Friday, January 05, 2007

No wagering, please

As always, these predictions ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. CAPICHE???

Ahem. The Wild Card round of the National Football League playoffs begin this weekend, and I have my opinions about them as well. Here we go:

AFC Wild Card Game 1 - Kansas City at Indianapolis, 3:30 PM, NBC (WMC 5)

We will know after the first drive by Herman Edwards' Chiefs how this game will go. If the Chiefs fail to score a touchdown on their opening drive, the Colts will win and advance to the Divisional Round next weekend. In fact, if the Chiefs fail to score a touchdown on ANY possession Saturday, they are toast-on-a-stick.

Their only hope is to keep their offense on the field for LOOOONNNGGG, grinding drives that end with Larry Johnson touchdowns, keeping Peyton Manning off the field as much as possible. If Larry Johnson doesn't get 35 carries for 225 yards and 4-5 TDs, it's over for KC, as they are no more able to stop Manning, Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne than I am able to guard Pau Gasol.

PICK: Colts 42, Chiefs 24

NFC Wild Card Game 1, Dallas at Seattle, 7 PM, NBC (WMC - 5)

For all their injuries this year, let's not forget that the Seahawks are A) the defending NFC Champions, B) healthier than they have been all year and C) at HOME. The Cowboys are none of those, with receivers who are dropping balls at critical moments (Hi, T.O.!), they have a journeyman QB who had 5 great games until the League's defenses adjusted to him, but they have a creditable defense.

Unfortunately, that defense will probably be gasping by the 4th Quarter, as they will have been out there too long. Hasselbeck and Shawn (Remember me, I was LDT LAST YEAR!) Alexander will be too much for the Boys in what will turn out to be Bill Parcells' swan song by the middle of next week.

PICK: Seahawks 28, Cowboys 17

AFC Wild Card Game 2 - NY Jets at New England, Noon, CBS (WREG - 3)

Master Vs. Pupil, Part III. I know, Eric Mangini is a terrific coach, having learned at the feet of the Master during his days in Foxboro. The J-E-T-S are a gritty band of overachievers who will follow their leader anywhere. They are primed and ready for this mission against the Patriots, who will be lack their leading headhunter, er, tackler in Rodney Harrison.

OK, cut the crap. Belichick and Brady HAVE NEVER LOST A PLAYOFF GAME IN FOXBORO. THEY HAVE ONLY LOST ONE PLAYOFF GAME OUTSIDE FOXBORO. They aren't going to lose this one, either. The Master gives yet another painful lesson to his pupil, sending Mangini and his disciples home weeping copiously.

PICK: Patriots 31, Jets 13

NFC Wild Card Game 2, NY Giants at Philadelphia, 3:30 PM, FOX (WHBQ - 13)

Look, the Giants, with the possible exception of Tiki Barber and Michael Strahan, would just as soon be on vacation in Bermuda or Aruba right now. They are already wondering who will replace Ernie Accorsi as GM (he is retiring at the end of the playoffs) and who the new GM will bring in to replace Tom Coughlin as Head Coach (he will be INVOLUNTARILY retired at the end of the playoffs).

And, they will be at the Linc, where Jeff Garcia has renewed his and his team's vigor and showed Andy Reid that good things can happen when you equalize the running and passing game. Besides, the Eagles WANT to be here, and beyond.

We'll miss you, Tiki. We WON'T miss you, Tom; go back to college ball where you belong. Someone else will have to get that deer-in-the-headlights look off Eli Manning's face.

PICK: Eagles 28, Giants 10

More picks next Friday; just remember, no wagering, please!!

3 comments:

polar donkey said...

Don't count out the Steelers!

Sharon Cobb said...

You jinxed my Cowboys. That was one of the worst endings EVER.

polar donkey said...

I plan on teasing my cowboy fan friends all day today. No playoff wins since 1996.